Q: "I have a black labrador and I tend to wash her every single day and feed her very well. Is there any reason as to why she could be so smelly?"
A: "Have you tried switching it on and off?"
And here we go:
- How many programmers does it take to change one light bulb? None, it's a hardware problem.
- Smith & Wesson — the original point and click interface.
- Why do we want intelligent terminals when there are so many stupid users ?
- Helpdesk: Double click on "My Computer"
User: I can't see your computer.
Helpdesk: No, double click on "My Computer" on your computer.
Helpdesk: There is an icon on your computer labeled "My Computer". Double click on it.
User: What's your computer doing on mine?
- The best part was they showed me their backup strategy: they use custom software and they backed up the application by dragging the desktop icon (a shortcut) to their cdrw. They had 2 years worth of shortcuts.
- Relax, it's only ONES and ZEROS !
- 'INSERT DISK THREE' ? But I can only get two in the drive !
- If you can't beat your computer at chess, do what I did — try kick-boxing
- Cracking the Italian codes was something you did at the pub over a beer. It was both relaxing and enjoyable... — Peter Hilton, WW2 British codebreaker.
- Hey ! It compiles ! Ship it !
- Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
- She said she was hot for me, so i gave her a spare heatsink. She didn't seem happy. I just dont understand women.
- There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. — Ken Olson, president/founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977. (now I understand why DEC went bye bye).
- The Macintosh uses an experimental pointing device called a 'mouse.' There is no evidence that people want to use these things. What businessman knows about point sizes on typefaces or the value of variable point sizes ? Who out there in the general marketplace even knows what a 'font' is ?
The whole concept and attitude towards icons and hieroglyphs is actually counterrevolutionary — it's a language that is hardly 'user friendly'. This type of machine was developed by hardware hackers working out of Xerox's Palo Alto Research Center. It has yet to find popular success. There seems to be some mysterious user resistance to this type of machine. — John C. Dvorak on why the Macintosh would fail, San Francisco Examiner, 1984/02/19.